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I think many would agree that watching Joannie Rochette skate beautifully and win a bronze medal was one of the most inspirational moments of the Olympics.  Rochette was stunned by her mother’s sudden death only days before she was set to compete in women’s figure skating.  Full of courage and strength, she decided to still compete.  To me, the beauty of her performances was that she was no longer skating for the crowd, a good score, or a spot on the podium – she was skating for her mom.  That she was able to win a medal and inspire a nation was just an added bonus.  But Joannie’s difficult journey doesn’t end here.  With her competition behind her, Joannie will finally have time and space to grieve for her mom.

As we experience grief in our own lives, many people will want to be strong like Joannie Rochette.  But if you saw Joannie after she finished skating her short program, her pain was very evident.  Let’s face it, grief is hard.  The loss of a close loved one naturally hurts us deeply, but other things like losing contact with a friend or having a pet die are also very difficult to deal with.  Whether you realize it or not, even graduating from high school and turning eighteen can be a grieving process as you leave behind your childhood.

Remember that grief is a process, not an event.  There is no definite ending point to grief and no time limit.  So don’t try to rush grieving.  Although everyone will grieve differently, it is perfectly normal to cycle through the different stages of grief: shock/denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  Not everyone will experience all these stages, or in this order, but this model gives a sense of the complexity of grieving.

Even if it is tempting to bottle up your feelings and ‘move on’, it is not usually the healthiest thing to do.  It will help to talk about your loss and take time to feel the sadness. Over time, it will get better.  If you ever feel overwhelmed by grief, feel free to call the Teen Line at 403-264-8336, we are here to talk!

Fifteen-year-old Ashkan Sultani hanged himself on January 12th, 2010.  The most tragic part? He did it because kids at school had bullied him to the edge.

A memorial service was held today for Sultani.  He had moved schools because of the kids who had continued to tease him, but it didn’t help.

Eventually, it got to the point where Sultani couldn’t handle it anymore.  The words and verbal abuse of the kids had gotten too much, and Sultani took his own life.

The parents blame the school for not identifying the bullying and dealing with it properly.  They are now re-evaluating their process and trying to come up with a solution.

We all need to watch the words that we choose to say to other people.  Every single word makes a difference on someone’s life, sometimes the difference between life and death.  Look out for each other, so that nobody else follows in Ashkan Sultani’s footsteps. 

Most importantly, if you are being bullied or just need someone to talk to, call the Teen Line at 403-264-8336.

High school.  It’s a part of life that you just have to go through.  For some people it can be the most fulfilling and amazing three years of their life. On the other hand, it can also be full of ups and downs and things that you just don’t want to remember.  I want to focus mainly on your mental health and the types of relationships you gain and lose during your high school experience.  I know I went through a lot, and I feel that I should share some of my knowledge and insight with those of you who are entering high school.  I’m even trying to see if these are the types of things people leaving high school can relate to.  

As a result of much thought I have learned in the last three years of my high school experience that:

1.)    I want high school to be over.

2.)    Facebook was made for the popular people, and that it is not good for your emotional health.  You are constantly worried about what everyone else is doing and who’s dating who, and spending so much time on Facebook that you’re not focusing on school!

3.)    Some people are just better off with you.

4.)    You are better off with some other people too.

5.)    Everything, and I mean, EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

6.)    Volunteer as much as you can because it’s more rewarding to know you’ve helped someone then sat around and done nothing.  It also helps you know that you are contributing to society in more ways than other typical high school students.  PLUS it looks great on University and scholarship applications.

7.)    Girls are harder to get along with.  Trust me the drama doesn’t end in high school.

8.)    No matter what happens you are strong enough to get through any situation, and I mean anything! (more…)

You may have heard in the news about the tragic death of Calgarian teen Brittney McInnes.  She was allegedly killed by her step-father in her home on January 17th.  I find this story particularly tragic because she was an ordinary teenager just like us – she was in her senior year at EP Scarlett High School, looking forward to the future, and known for her infectious smile.   Reading about this murder, I couldn’t help but think about each of our roles in preventing this type of thing.  Although in this case everyone was stunned by the murder and didn’t think anything was wrong with the family, there are many cases of domestic violence where there are warning signs.

In one article about Brittney’s murder, Sergeant Rick Tuza, head of homicide issued a plea for Calgarians to report signs of domestic problems to social agencies or police.

‘You may have seen a trend here in Calgary with these offences.  I think everybody in our community is in a position to assist with these kinds of crimes,’ said Tuza.

‘We’ve had a number of very tragic incidents that I don’t want to be investigating.  If somebody saw something in the past and could have spoken up, could it have been prevented?  I don’t know.’

It is important to be aware of abuse and domestic violence and watch for warning signs.  There is reason to be concerned if a kid you babysit always has strange bruises that he can’t explain, your friend is scared to go home, or your classmate complains of her parents aggressively fighting.  Did you know if you have reasonable grounds to believe anyone under 18 is being abused or neglected you are legally required to report it? 

In Calgary, call the Child Intervention Services Line any time at (403) 297-2995.  And don’t worry that if you report that someone is being abused, they are going to automatically have to go live in a foster home – Child Services will just make sure they are safe and then determine what an appropriate response is.  This is really tough stuff and it takes a lot of courage to report it, but if you can help keep someone safe it is worth it.  If you want to know if you should report something, want to know who you should report it to, need support around abuse, or just have a problem you want to talk about please call the Teen Line at (403) 264-8336.  It’s open 24 hours and teens answer from 5-10pm every night.