Dear Abby is the iconic advice column founded 1956. Let’s try a hand at “Dear YAA,” 
shall we? If you have a question, which you would like answered in a future blog post, feel free to ask below.
Dear YAA,
Recently, I have been experience some dissatisfaction in my life although I live a seemingly fulfilling one. I am a lawyer whose career is just starting to take off and I have two beautiful children and a loving husband. Lately, I have been feeling as if my thoughts and the ideals of society are experiencing a power struggle of sorts. Although I know that I can do as I please, I feel as if the justice system is forcing me to pick the “right” side of the truth, that the presence of my children forces me to be the very best mother and my husband, the “perfect” wife. Am I really in charge of my life? If not, will I ever be?
~Clueless Pinocchio
Dear Clueless Pinocchio,
I will begin by going off on a slight tangent. Have you ever caught someone in the unaware? This is a popular phenomenon experienced by photographers and authors alike. It is when you observe someone you know quite well, in their own element, when they have little idea of your watchful gaze. It is when you observe them outside of what society forces them to be: whether it is the mother of a child, owner of a happy dog or president of a gardening club. This is when the true essence of a person is revealed. You may find that a top CEO has a quiet reflective side to him, or a meek housewife, a passionate aura when caught relaxing on a patio lawn chair. However, life often forces us into roles, holds our desires, hopes and dreams into something more practical for a society to function.
The question you have posed is an excellent one, albeit difficult to answer. Do you feel in charge when you lose a case in court? Do you feel as if lawyers lie you are the fair representatives of a justice system which sends those who commit slander against the government to jail for say 25 years, and a sex-offender for only 10? When your children are hurt, distressed or angry, do you feel you have a say in fate when all you can do is watch from the sidelines and act the part of concerned mother when you would rather act the part of a martyr for them instead? I’d by living in some secluded utopia if I insisted that life was all about freewill and the personal quest to find one’s identity, although it would be ideal if we lived each moment in life as if we were in the unaware. The pressures of working hard in school, of finding success in one’s career or creating a loving family environment coupled with the last ditch effort to keep a sane state of mind and resist completely embracing conformity leaves us little time to to make any truly personal decisions.
In the most pessimistic mindset, you can think of people as the puppets of society, with strings too short to move out of reach of the oceans of conventionalism and into the sunny meadows of self-preservation of the soul. I’d also be lying if I managed to convince you that there was some quick easy solution to this. As if we can cut the strings in our puppet master’s hand, and throw everything away. Others may advise you to quit your job, move to Le Paris and start over. And if you’ve seen the movie Revolutionary Road, you’ll know that even that attempt may not work out in your favour. So what am I really saying? Well, for starters, as pessimistic and extremist as it may sound, you are not in charge of your life. It is easy to feel like a marionette: quickly manipulated and relatively powerless. However, you can follow the mentality: “if you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” Pretend you have some control, it is really your only option. Take up yoga, run a marathon, dare to do something different every day. And if that doesn’t work, run away to France, for a week. If you do, please send my regards to the Mona Lisa.
Sincerely,
YAA
