You may know the lyrics “We met for a reason, either you’re a blessing, or a lesson.” That may be a piece of advice to hold onto for the rest of your life.
As a teenager, friendships come and go and not all are meant to last. Some friendships you experience burn bright, fast and end quick but their importance does not waver. Other friendships will last the storms and may not be your top priority. I have always had the trouble of knowing and understanding the importance of each friendship. Not every person you meet will be your BFF. This is crucial information, you will click with some people, others might be harder to get to know. Just because you consider someone to be one of your closest friends does not mean you have to be at their beck and call. I have come to the conclusion that some of the relationships I have had were one sided. It was not my job to impress them, care for them and always put myself on the line for them. After realizing that what I thought I was obligated to do was in fact not my responsibility, I had to cut loose some of the people I was holding onto.
Four things you are not obligated to do out of friendship:
- If you have a job and they do not then you are not obligated to pay for food if they ask. If someone you know is attempting to guilt-trip you into spending money on them then take a stand for yourself.
- You do not have to start communication with them in every circumstance. Chances are, if you are important to someone they will reach out to you. Stop taking the excuse that they don’t ‘text first or call people’. You are a person and should be treated with respect, this includes equal communication between friends. Don’t feel pressured into carrying the weight that they are ignoring.
- Never feel obligated to drop your commitments if they are not willing to do the same. I have had friends in the past that expected me to call into work sick when they were free, but when I asked them to do the same they would scold me. Double standards and hypocritical judgement should not be accepted by you or anyone else.
- Under no circumstances should you apologize if you have done nothing wrong. In the past, my number one used word might as well have been sorry. I have learned that true friends will understand if they have done wrong and now I know that the word means nothing unless they truly deserve to hear it. It is not about swallowing your pride, it is about understanding if they have served the course they were meant to take in your life.
Try not to force a friendship between someone and yourself. It will be uncomfortable for the both of you and you may never overcome the differences you face. It is not necessarily the end of the friendship but maybe the end of the chapter for you both.
x0, Sarah
