Hello, it’s almost (and for some of you, it’s already) back to school! End of summer, start of fall, but more importantly: the point in which all the things you’ve been putting off the entire summer is catching up to you… The “oh-I’ll-practice-my-piano-later” doesn’t work in late August, nor does the “I’ll-read-tomorrow”. SCHOOL. STARTS. IN. A. WEEK. AND. I. HAVEN’T. DONE. ANY. OF. THOSE. THINGS.
I’m supposed to be able to play all my piano pieces hands separately perfectly, but I’m kinda wondering how that’s possible considering the fact that I only touched the piano about a total of twice the ENTIRE SUMMER. I can’t say I’m shocked, though. I’ve been telling myself that I’ll play next week for the past eight weeks. Oops. BUT, also, I have piano THEORY, which I did for only TWO units, when I was supposed to do SEVEN. YET, still, I just sit around and watch Gossip Girl.
I, for one, am a victim of procrastination.
At the beginning of summer I was so pumped and I had a whole list of stuff I was going to accomplish. I was so ready to do everything but, oh look, the summer is over and I HAVE DONE NOTHING. I was supposed to write (which I suppose I’m doing right now, so I’ll call that progress), read LOTS, practice my piano (HAH NO), study for next school year and learn to drive (I STILL CAN’T). Honestly, why am I like this??? One second I was proactive and completing all my tasks, the next thing I know two months had slipped away, and I just feel so betrayed (by myself). What is there left to do except rant at my own misdoings?!
Why does time have to do that to me? Like I’m not anxious enough. How am I supposed to practice piano, read, write, volunteer, binge watch tv shows, get 8 hours of sleep and exercise when there are only 24 hours in a day?! So much to do, so little time. AND, by the time school starts, it’ll be too late. Like, what even? There is such a jump between ninth and tenth grade, two months preparation is not enough! On top of AP classes and homework, I still have to memorize my timetable AND remember where all my classes are. Who do you think I am, WonderWoman? Not to mention, extracurricular activities like 3-4 times a week, in which I have to dedicate lots of time to. So with the schoolwork and outside-of-school-work, where am I supposed to find the time to volunteer? HOW CAN I VOLUNTEER IF I CAN’T VOLUNTEER? Plus, what about all those books I want to read? And movies I want to watch? Yeah, out the window they go!
Homework, stress, procrastination, and anxiety?
LIKE WHAT? I mean, let’s be honest, why are we doing all these things if, in reality, we don’t actually exist? Oh yes, procrastination just turned into existentialism. What are we doing crying on Sunday nights over an essay due on Monday that we forgot to write, when we could literally just be an alien’s dream? What even is the meaning of life?? IS there really life? Are we really here? Are you really reading words that I typed on my computer on your computer?
I DON’T UNDERSTAND.
*deep breath in*
Okay, that was a good rant. Thank you so much for listening to me vent about my problems.
I’ll see you next time on: Me Ranting About Things