Have you ever read The Book of Awesome? Well, someone should really write The Book of Not Awesome. It’d be far more entertaining and it does the same thing — it makes people smile. I’ve decided to search up and think of some simple nuisances, as opposed to simple pleasures. Either way, the Book of Awesome or Not Awesome gets you to cheer up.
Wow…okay. Most of these are memes already; First World Problems, Socially Awkward Penguin, Bad Luck Brian… Darn.
Stuff I don’t like and stuff you also probably don’t like (all coming from unfortunate personal experiences):
- When there’s no more toilet paper left and you’re on the toilet.
- When you get 99.4% on a test. So close yet so far away.
- When you’re on the weird side of YouTube and you can’t get off.
- When you save your work in a temporary folder (this one has made me cry and panic on numerous occasions).
- When you’re put in ESL and you were actually born in Canada with English as your first language.
- Procrastinating so hard that you don’t know whether or not it’s worth it to still attempt the assignment.
- Internet Explorer.
- No one understands your joke. Just laugh it off. It’s okay. Also, laughing at a joke before the punchline is told.
- Confidently shout out the wrong answer in class.
- Someone waves in your general direction. Wave back. “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean you”.
- Being a kid, losing your mom at the mall and tearing up.
- Getting lost and trying not to look panicked. My face isn’t good at hiding panic seeing as my eyebrows rise two-thirds up my forehead and I look ridiculously scared.
- Smile and nod at anything that you didn’t hear or understand. I’ve had this happen:
“Alice, do I have a unibrow?”
“-smile and nods-”
“That was rude”
“Sorry what was it you just said?”. - As an extension of the one above. You don’t understand a question, someone explains it. Still don’t understand it, they explain it again. Still don’t understand it — just smile, nod, and say thank you.
- Thinking of something witty to say when the topic has already moved on. There were so many chances for me to appear smart… ;_;
- Misunderstanding someone so bad it isn’t worth correcting. So this definitely happened a while back:
“Oh wow, that was scary”
“Your name is Carey? Nice to meet you”… Not remotely close to what he meant. - Expecting to come home from a haircut looking like a superstar. Instead, your haircut slightly resembles that of a bowl cut. True story.
- Arguing against ignorance. It takes so much air and effort.
- Wearing your clothes two days in a row and getting caught.
- Choking on your spit. Even worse, choking on your spit during a class presentation.
- You’re tired, so you’re nodding off so hard that you sway violently and scare the kid next to you.
- Foot cramp, leg cramp, calf cramp, stubbed toes, tripping on flat surfaces in front of large crowds, walking into table corners. OW.
- Majority of Skype conversation is breathing sounds. Courtesy of Socially Awkward Penguin. Very applicable.
- Can’t say this one happens very often to people, but I managed to ruin my brother’s surprise birthday party. He walked in through the door, I launched myself out on my belly and said SURPRI—…no one else jumped out, so I quickly retreat. 5 seconds later, they all jump out and say surprise. They proceed to ask my brother: “Ahh! Weren’t you surprised? We planned this for you!”. My brother proceeds to say: “Nope, I saw my sister slide out”. I got some death glares.
- Spiders. Spiders on the ceiling. Spiders that are hairy and big. Spider bites. Seriously misunderstood creatures, I know, but they’re so good at being scary without trying. Oh yeah, spider falling out of your jeans. Betcha haven’t had that happen to ya.Enjoy. Hope you can relate. If not, I hope it made you kinda smile. I could submit half this stuff to the meme, Socially Awkward Penguin. That really says something about me.
