If you haven’t read my Facebook guide to having the best profile ever, why are you even reading this?! People who have a Facebook profile have to have a Tumblr blog; otherwise, you must live under a rock. Now without further ado, I give you the best advice you can find on the web. And just a warning here, I might be a bit rusty with my Tumblr knowledge as it’s been a few months since I’ve checked my account. Which none of you will ever find because as far as you’re concerned, this is my only blogging account I use 🙂
1. Do the basics and be awesome at them
First thing’s first: you need an awesome name. If you’re stuck, try to begin your blog with @#!$ yeah or claim a popular game/book/movie/series/cult/etc. to your name. You don’t want the best name to be snatched away! You also need a good display picture–make sure you have your face or some unflattering cropped picture of your body. It goes so well in a tiny little 60×60 (or so) avatar! And last, but not least, you need a good theme.
Make sure you put super generic and vague words to describe yourself on your blog. That’s what makes you so unique!
2. Follow popular blogs and people
Make sure you do this! Eventually the blogger might advertise you if you do something spectacular or be the first to reblog/heart/comment on their post (read below for more ideas). I don’t know, people don’t become popular out of nowhere, they need connections!
3. Reblog
The process to becoming Tumblr popular is not too difficult. Just re-blog a million posts and people will eventually go to your blog and spend hours reading pointless posts or viewing abstract pictures! Make sure the stuff you reblog are generic, slightly funny and perhaps witty. People seem to like those.
4. Get with the memes
Read more from lucy in her blog post! (See, if I were reblogging this, I would be famous by now). By the way, Tumblr loves the troll face.
5. Post reblog-able stuff
Everyone loves a quote that talks about love, life, or even a cartoon show. Don’t be afraid to talk about other people in your blog, either! Passive aggressiveness is encouraged in the Tumblr community, and if people keep getting angry at you about it, make sure you have an important post regarding how your blog is your own and not others. I mean, it’s not like it’s being posted for the public or anything… where people have their free speech to comment/criticize on your blog/views/ideas. Well, the logistics aren’t there, but it’s Tumblr! Who cares as long as people agree with you/your post.
6. Do challenges
Your followers don’t know your identity, so you should reveal it to them in an “(insert some number)-day challenge”! Make sure to write only one line, and if you don’t really like a question/task in the challenge, then do a popular cookie-cutter response so that you don’t get in trouble for being lazy, but also so that your followers would think you’re so cool for posting it!
7. Ask/answer questions
This is really important. If you’ve got some anonymous questions that are very hateful, you should respond with an “I totally don’t care what you think, which is why I’m posting my I’m-too-cool-for-you response to the world”! Or if it’s something about your blog, being sarcastic is acceptable too. If you’re witty enough, people will reblog your response like wildfire!
8. Spam people’s dashboards
Post up pictures (read above), short blogs (but long blogs about how miserable your life are okay too), videos and links. And maybe a quote… but people prefer pictures with quotes instead. Oh, and try to fill your own dashboard with witty bloggers. Just so you can manage to get some really coincidentally related blog posts in your dashboard…
9. Â Understand your followers
If people start unfollowing you for some unexpected reason, then perhaps you need to change your blog a bit. A new style doesn’t hurt anyone, so why not become what the hottest trend on Tumblr is at the moment? If it’s not posting funny quotes, it might be posting really vague and emotional quotes that people can associate themselves with their own life. So if one of the steps don’t work, try another! Oh and don’t forget…
10. Be (insert personality trait where people relate to)
Whether it’s emotional, deep, philosophical, bitter, cynical, snarky, whiny, ungrateful or even if you’re just a person who simply reblogs, there will always be a group of people who can relate to your blog and fall in love with it. They’ll start to praise you (and you’ll love it), and they’ll start to say how much of a genius you are for creating the blog (and you’ll start believing it too), so if you follow this small guide, then you’ll probably lose gain 100 followers by the next week 🙂
