In my fifteen years of life, I’ve definitely had some amazing experiences and well, some not so great experiences. As with most people, I do have regrets and I wish I did some things differently, whether it be trying that thing that always poses a “What if?” doubt in my head, or wishing that one comment or situation didn’t affect me as much as it did, but the reality is time is unforgiving and you can’t go back and change things.
Two things I really regret are not recognizing my self worth soon enough and not cutting ties with toxic people. I prided myself on the fact that no matter how many comments I’d get, I’d persevere and not let them affect me as much as they did, but they did and as a result: my self esteem suffered.
The early months of 2014 were the hardest. I shut people out, hit my lowest point ever and it took me a long time to realize that this wasn’t right. That I really wasn’t happy. I’m not one to voice my concerns often, and that’s one of my problems. I’ve grown to think that people are way off worse, and that my problems are so much smaller in comparison to those of my peers, but I realize that’s wrong. If it’s one thing I’ve learned on the road to appreciating myself, it’s that you have to put yourself first and realize that everything about you, including your desires and problems, are valid and there is no problem that is irrelevant. Don’t ever let someone make you feel small because your values are valid.
I posed this question: “How do/did you improve your self esteem?”
“I always complimented people (making people feel good made me feel good). I started surrounding myself with people who liked me for me, and I stopped talking to the people that made me embarrassed to be myself. I started drawing and writing more (being creative and expressing myself really helped me feel good). I listened to a lot of music performed by empowered women because it inspired me to be an empowered female.” – Emily
“Don’t compare yourself to others because it can be destructive. A healthy tip to have high self esteem is to remember what you’re good at and how you’re better than you were before. Also worship yourself and remind yourself why you’re great. Remind yourself of your beauty, and remind yourself why you’re beautiful and why you’re great.” – Ethan
Another thing I continually struggle with is knowing when it’s time to cut ties with someone and if I should. In the past, I’ve been close with the odd individual who hasn’t been the best friend you could ask for, but I’m always too blind to see that I probably shouldn’t be friends with them. You’d think that after being in this situation at least twice now, I would’ve learned, but alas I found myself in this situation yet again this year. I put everyone ahead of my feelings and failed to realize that this particular individual didn’t care about me as much as I cared about them. Some important things to consider when thinking of terminating a friendship is reflecting on it as a whole and asking yourself if your friend would make the same sacrifices for you as you did for them, and if they wouldn’t or haven’t, maybe it’s time to let them go?
I asked: “What are some signs that it’s time to remove someone toxic from your life?”
“They do not apologize to you, they try to tell you what to do/ what not to do, they question your other friends (“why do you like them?”), and they try to make you feel guilty for not talking to them.” – Zoe
Another important thing to keep into consideration is if someone makes you feel uncomfortable, there’s nothing saying you have to be friends with them. If things aren’t working and you don’t like how they’re treating you, let them off easy and move on.
“I can definitely say that the moment you should remove a toxic person from your life is the moment they make you feel bad for being your genuine self. If you feel like you have to be a different person around them or else they’ll get angry or make fun of you. If someone’s affecting your self esteem negatively instead of positively they don’t belong in your life.” – Erin
With these tips in mind, I hope you know your worth and stand up for yourself, because there is nothing worse than putting up with less than you deserve and feeling down about yourself. Remember to put yourself first because nothing is more important than your health and happiness.
