The scorching heat is a reminder of a season embraced by many, but somewhat dreaded by others. That’s right, now’s the time to break out the sunscreen and bikinis, because trips to the pool, lake, or beach are just around the corner. For many of us, along with the promise of fun and the sun, there comes a certain sense of anxiety or self-consciousness as to the way we may be perceived by others.
The media has created this image of what the “perfect body” should be, and for the vast majority of us, this image just isn’t a realistic lens through which we can view ourselves. It’s easy to become obsessed or at least intrigued by the idea of having a flat stomach, a thigh gap, or washboard abs, especially when society has tied the ideas of a perfect body and an individual’s worth together. The fact of the matter is that this creates a toxic perception of body image for many people; whether you’re male, female, young, old, black, white, or anywhere in between, it’s difficult to look at advertisements without comparing yourself to the models in them and thinking about how you stack up against them. As unfortunate as it may feel at times, unless you’re an elite athlete, bodybuilder, model, or you follow a strict diet and exercise regimen, it’s unlikely that you will ever be able to look at yourself in the mirror and see the body that society has put on a pedestal.
And you know what? That’s okay.
Very few people fit into the mold of what we’re told that a perfect body is.
This is something that I have personally struggled with for many years, and have only come to peace with recently. Many of my friends growing up, and even now, are high-level athletes, are naturally slim, or just really enjoy going to the gym and living a healthy lifestyle. For me, who struggled with athletics until I was 14, and who still fights the urge to just lay on the couch eating Cheezies instead of going for a run, I always felt like I was the fat friend. It’s difficult not to feel that way when your best friend wears a size 4 and you wear a size 12, yet you stand eye-to-eye. The mountains of photographic evidence of this amassed over the years don’t help much either. It took years for me to be comfortable enough with the cellulite and stretch marks on my thighs to wear bikini bottoms instead of board shorts.
Maybe you wear one-piece bathing suits because you feel like they cover up or camouflage your insecurities. Maybe you’re the last one to take your shirt off before jumping in the lake, and the first one to put it back on when you come back out. Maybe you completely avoid situations where you feel exposed because they’re too much to handle. For the longest time, I was in the same boat as you. Now that I’ve begun to accept myself, I’m going to let you in on a little secret that helped me. The people that you surround yourself with, whether they are friends or family, care about you and love you for who you are, not for the number that you see on the scale. They don’t care how you look in a bathing suit, or in anything else. Chances are that they’re struggling with some of the same worries that you are. Even though nothing has physically changed for me since I began this journey toward total self-acceptance, I feel so much better knowing that the people around me simply don’t give a second thought as to how many stomach rolls I have or how thick my thighs are.
